oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
