Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Odds of those being real?

(614): View more from Ohio

One in who gives a fuck

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(954): View more from Florida

Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.

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(917): View more from New York City

you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground

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(408): View more from California

Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.

(506): View more from New Brunswick

ILLEGAL

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(815): View more from Illinois

If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.

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