It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
