he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
dude. I can hear the air.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
