I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
