Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.

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(847): View more from Illinois

She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.

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(443): View more from Maryland

When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.

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(949): View more from California

He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists

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(775): View more from Nevada

If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.

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(925): View more from California

We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"

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(314): View more from Missouri

So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?

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