he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
