i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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