i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
