I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
