You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
