You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
