His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
