Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
