Quick, to the slutcave!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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