she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
