you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
