It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
