she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
