JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
