I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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