im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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