Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
