i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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