I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize