got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
