God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
