So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
