honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize