we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
