if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
