State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
people are starting to question the shark bite story
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
