Christians are straight up FREAKS
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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