Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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