I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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