I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
