She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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