I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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