You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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