I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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