Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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