I want to have your abortion
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
