i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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