I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
