Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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