this beer tastes like vomit already
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
