at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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