I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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