i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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