love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
