I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We are two peas in an std pod
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
