I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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