i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
