The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
