Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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