he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
