Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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