i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
