and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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