it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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