he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
