Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
