We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
