Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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